omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize