My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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