he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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