If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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