You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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