He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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