I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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