doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
