when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
