he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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