he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
