it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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