She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
this will be a night to untag.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
