I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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