Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
They took my balls.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
