I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
