If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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