dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
