I smell stomach acid.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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