new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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