I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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