I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
