why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
