What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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