I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
