We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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