I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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