if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
what day is it and did you see me today?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
