What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
