K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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