her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Never joke about your clitoris.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
PANTIES FOUND
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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