She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There r osticjed everywhere
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
