I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
