I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
