Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
