It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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