im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
