alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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