u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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