apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize