Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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