If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
