When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
