Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
