He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
