That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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