sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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