Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
