i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The best revenge is premature balding
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
