I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
