Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
false alarm. still invincible.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
