We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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