pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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