I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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