I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
