She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
wow bdsm is so cute
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
