if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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