I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize