Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
