what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
