All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
