At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
