You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
