i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
