whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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