butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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