I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
