when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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